Sunday, June 30, 2013

Treatment Milestones

Wow! This week has been a whirlwind. We finally closed on a house!!! No, it wasn't the one we waited for for 2 years and no it isn't bigger (ok, a few square feet) but it IS better and the neighborhood seems perfect for our young family. We are renting to the previous owners for a few days while they wait for their new house to open up and then we are going to paint and carpet and maybe some wood floors! And then we can FINALLY move on. Can't wait. I'm still not processing it all. It is exciting and luckily I'm not thinking how sad it is to leave all our friends and neighbors here. We really have had it good and it is really hard to imagine Emily won't be across the street and Lani isn't down the street and Stephanie isn't next door, etc. etc.

As far as treatment, this week has been awesome. Day 13 came around and I reached a total breakthrough. I woke up in hardly any pain and my mind was so clear. All the days following have been the same. It is such an amazing difference! I don't think I have ever been this happy and I really didn't realize how bad my pain has gotten. I now feel closer to my age--not 75 years old! By the end of most days I was hunched over like my grandmother always was. Not good! Depression can cause chronic pain and chronic pain can cause depression--what a vicious cycle!

Today is day 17. Things are still going great and I am excited to see what these last few treatments do. I'm excited to be done--not that treatments have been bad at all but because it would be nice to have those 2 hours back to my day. I have never been away this much from my kids since they were born and it would be  nice to be back. Plus with trying to juggle packing and junk I am feeling pretty darn behind.

But it is all good!!! The Lord is delivering us!

Saturday, June 29, 2013


We wanted to thank everyone that has helped us celebrate our 10,000 sale!  It has been a great month.

For anyone who hasn't taken advantage of the 50% off sale, you have through the end of the day tomorrow to order. Hope you stop on by!

Here's the newest addition to the shop!

50% Off Sale Polka Dot Digital Frames Clip Art Commercial Use Instant Download Set 1 (691)

Monday, June 24, 2013

50% off Sale, Only 6 Days Left!

We're approaching the end of June, which means our month long 50% OFF SALE is almost over as well!
All month long we've been celebrating our 10,000th sale, and we just want to make sure you get to celebrate with us.

Remember EVERYTHING in the shop is 50% OFF through June 30th!  You can also combine it with the other special which is:

Buy 3 Get 1 additional item FREE
Buy 4 Get 2 additional items FREE
Buy 5 Get 3 additional items FREE
Buy 10 Get 10 additional items FREE
Buy 20 Get 21 additional items FREE
FREE items must be of equal or lesser value to the lowest priced item purchased. To get your free items, Copy and Paste ENTIRE TITLE of free product(s) (not link) in notes to seller to get your free item(s).

Here are some of the most recent additions to the shop:

50% Off Sale Boy Clip Art Digital Frame Mustaches Tag Brackets Journal Spots Ampersand Commercial Use Jack (667)

50% Off Sale Digital Scrapbooking Printable Paper Pack Instant Download Mermaid (679)

50% Off Sale Weather Clip Art Digital Scrapbooking Hip Colors Umbrellas Rain Drops Rainbow (680)

50% Off Sale Digital Camping Paper Pack  - Personal and Commercial Use - Going Camping (687)

50% Off Sale Digital Paper Pack Chevron Damask Polka Dot Hot Pink Lime Green Sleepless (681)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Day 10 of Treatment

Today was day 10. The last few days have been a little disheartening. I think we pinpointed which neurotransmitter is off and they suggested a new diet to help--a diet that is leaving me feeling weak and sick. My physical pain the last few days has been through the roof. Playing around with my brain chemistry has maybe messed up my brains abilities to release endorphins and it is a struggle doing anything because the pain is so intense. I was talking to someone last night and I couldn't even come up with anything else to say because the pain was getting so bad...that is huge for me if you all know how much I talk.
I think I have always had excessive pain. I remember having back pain ALL my life--even when I was really little like 3-5 years old. I've just put up with it forever thinking that is how it is for everyone but as I've talked to  people I've realized that there are some people who rarely feel pain. What would that be like? I'm not even 30 yet and I am in so much pain!
I had to do another colon cleanse/detox yesterday and this morning was awful.
2 nights ago my depression hit and it was vicious. It had all been going so good. Its doing better again but relapses like that scare me.
Here is hoping we get everything balanced out soon. Here's to the next 11 days of treatment.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Leading up to Treatment

I recently started an intensive treatment program for my depression. I guess I've always had some sort of depression throughout my life. I didn't really notice it then--I just didn't understand how other people could be so happy. I just never got it. The day we brought our first baby home though I was hit with a level of depression that I had never experienced before. The thoughts that my baby and husband would be better off without me were so strong and believable. I asked people for help in taking care of my baby. I was in a really low place but everyone I asked told me "no." What the? I didn't know I had to say I was suicidal to get help?!?!?!

I did everything I could to work on the depression myself. I learned some things that really helped me to be happy as well as coping mechanisms....for a while.

My depression would come and go in its severity. My whole pregnancy with my 3rd child was pretty awful. I started becoming open about my depression about a year after I had my third. As soon as I did people started coming out of the woodwork telling me I needed to take meds. I felt like some have practically tried forcing it down my throat. Then there have been others that have no idea about depression that have told me I just need to pray more or be more righteous or choose to be happy. Everyone who has had clinical depression know those answers are a bunch of crock. I AM choosing to be happy. I do pray - A LOT. I keep trying to improve my righteousness but my brain is broken and it won't allow me to be happy.

Recently I found that no matter what I did to try and help  my depression nothing was helping at all anymore. We knew I needed help but we have constantly felt that medicine was not the right choice for me. We looked into electroshock therapy and I started acupuncture...but then I nose dived again and I started to look for a rehab facility.

This place called Theta Wellness popped up while looking for a rehab facility. I went in the next day and they started me immediately. They put you through a few processes that help restore neurotransmitters to their correct functioning without the use of meds. They use technology derived from Nasa, a transcranial magnetic therapy device, and an infrared bed. The program lasts 21 days and takes about 2 hours a day. It is a huge commitment but we were out of options. During my first treatment my cloud started to lift and I am now on day 7 and it hasn't returned. There has been no pain involved, no memory loss. The only bad part was a protein shake they make you drink each day but now they don't bother me at all.

We are hoping for some permanent improvement. Time will tell how well it works in the long run. At least now I can think clearly, thoughts of ending my life have ceased and I have much more energy.

For those struggling with depression, know that its not your fault. You're not a bad person because you have depression--even though the world seems to insinuate this. Depression can strike the strongest, most intelligent minds.If you have a broken leg you get it fixed. You're not a bad person if your bone gets broken. If your brain gets broken, you get it fixed--you're not a bad person!

Join me in my fight to stop the social stigma.


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

my ongoing personal saga

where to begin? where to end? our story took us near the freeway today in only one town where we could afford a decent home to raise our kids. 1400 sq feet less than we were expecting. the list in my head of all the things i will have to sell/get rid of is making me nauseous--well, I've been nauseous over this all for so long. so many ideas/dreams/plans just keep getting shattered. the idea of being stuck where we didn't want to be forever because I can't go through this again is filling me with some looming thoughts. and to think maybe there are weeks and months ahead to start the loan process all over again. 3 bedrooms and no room to grow doesn't sound enticing to have more kids--i did want more. after all that we've endured there still are no apparent blessings---even though somehow this probably is a blessing. I'm just ready for some not in disguise.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

10,000th sale SALE

This last month I reached my 10,000th sale, so we're going to be celebrating all month long with 50% OFF EVERYTHING in the shop  This is a great time to stock up!  

AND you can use it with my specials:  

Buy 3 Get 1 additional item FREE
Buy 4 Get 2 additional items FREE
Buy 5 Get 3 additional items FREE
Buy 10 Get 10 additional items FREE
Buy 20 Get 21 additional items FREE
FREE items must be of equal or lesser value to the lowest priced item purchased. To get your free items, Copy and Paste ENTIRE TITLE of free product(s) (not link) in notes to seller to get your free item(s).

Here are some of the items in the shop:

50% Off Sale Owl Clip Art Hippo Clip Art Frog Clipart Bird Clip Art Baby Boy Colors Digital Scrapbooking Commercial Use (668)

50% Off Sale Zebra Animal Print Digital Paper pack for Digital Scrapbooking, Photography, Card Making, Commercial Use (670)

50% Off Sale Digital Camouflage Paper Pack  - Personal and Commercial Use - Camo (669)

Come celebrate with me!