7 Ways in 7 Days to Knock the Socks Off Your Spouse

I met my husband at the beginning of my sophomore year of college at Brigham Young University. We married right before finals at the end of the year—I was only 19! So young! :) My freshman year I always made fun of the girls in the MFHD program (Marriage, Family, Human Development) because I thought all they wanted to do was get married--and that didn't equate to my accounting/business oriented mind. Boy

was I shocked with myself when after we were married I decided to switch to the MFHD program! Fast forward several years and we were finally able to have children after a lot of heartache. Hopefully we're not done but I'm so grateful for the kids we have.

Going from years by ourselves and then throwing kids into the mix has been an interesting experience. I think that no matter what the situation, it can be hard to maintain a positive and thriving marriage. If you're not currently married, just tuck this article away--hopefully for future use! :)

From my schooling and experience I've learned that to keep marriage going strong sometimes you have to shake things up. Below is an idea to do just that.

The Weekly Marriage Shake Up

(To thoroughly knock the socks off your spouse!)

Sweet Treat Sunday

Massage Monday

Touch Tuesday

Woo Him/Her Wednesday

Thank Him/Her Thursday

Fun Activity Friday

Sweet Nothings Saturday

Sweet Treat Sunday

On Sunday, make or get a treat your spouse really likes. If he/she is on a diet, be mindful of this and find a way to make him/her something special. If he/she asks why just say you love him/her. Keep your list a secret! :)

Massage Monday

You can go about this a few ways. You can tell your spouse you're giving him/her a massage and ask where he/she would like to be massaged. You can  tell him/her a list of areas you're willing to massage (for those of you with stinky feet aversions :) ) or you can just do it. Be considerate of your spouses feelings and preferences--you want this to be a wonderful experience!

Touch Tuesday

If you're not in the habit of this, your spouse may ask you what the heck you're doing but whenever you talk to your spouse or walk by your spouse or sit next to your spouse, make sure part of you is intentionally touching him/her. Do this ALL Day. Don't be surprised if your spouse reciprocates.

Woo Him/Her Wednesday

Do whatever is romantic to your spouse. If you don't know--ask him/her!

Thank Him/Her Thursday

Pay attention to everything your spouse does today and thank him/her for everything--just be sincere. Some examples that I would use:

"Thank you for going to work today."

"Thank you for taking care of your dirty clothes this morning."

"Thank you for changing that diaper."

"Thank you for emptying the garbage."

"Thank you for being such a good dad to our girls."

Fun Activity Friday

Plan something for the 2 of you. You don't have to leave your house or you can. You don't have to get a babysitter. If you can get a babysitter--DO! If not, stay in and play a card game or go play a game of catch outside. Make a cake together (don't forget to "accidentally" smear some frosting on your spouse's face). Do something out of the ordinary. It could take 5 minutes or 3 hours. Just make a plan and do it.

Sweet Nothings Saturday

Tell your spouse "sweet nothings" all day. You can whisper them, text or email them, write them on pieces of paper and leave them around the house. Tell your spouse all the things you love about him/her--his/her personality, actions, looks, quality, etc.

Put these ideas into action for a week and not only will you feel more love for your spouse but he/she should definitely feel more loved and hopefully at some point will reciprocate.

I'd love to hear your results! 

(C) Copyright 2012 Dedra Tregaskis. All Rights Reserved.

Marriage Helps

I'm no expert but I love sharing ideas that work for me in case it might benefit others. Here are a few things you can do to help enhance your marriage.

SUPER EASY IDEA #1:

Go grab a piece of paper and a pencil. Don't wait. Do it RIGHT NOW. Now write something that your spouse does that you love--could be something simple like: "I love your smile." or "I love it when you do the dishes for me." or it could be something romantic. Now go hide it somewhere only your spouse will find it. (I put notes in my husbands pant pockets before he wears them). Get in the habit of doing this once a week for a nice little treat for your spouse to know you care!

COMBINED EFFORT IDEA:

This is best if you get your spouse in on the activity. You'll be making a list. Title it something like this: "A guide to loving _____ (your name here)" or "The Things ______(your name here) Loves" or "I feel loved when:"

Then list everything you can think of that your spouse currently does and especially what you wish they would do. If you've never done this before, chances are your spouse will have no clue about some of the things on your list and you'll probably be shocked about their list. Be specific.

When I did this, I included a list of treats that would brighten my day (like hard Runts and Ben and Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie Ice Cream- YUM!) and also things that I consider Romantic. I was shocked my husband really wanted me to serenade him. I never knew!

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET IDEA:

So for most of our marriage, I had it in my head that whenever my husband did something I didn't like--i.e. leaving his socks on the floor, that it was personal. It was as if his leaving his socks on the floor was an expression of "I don't care about you enough to pick these up." I would get irritated over all the little things. Somewhere along the way, I decided to change my attitude. I somehow got through all the nasty little lies in my head and told myself the truth: "My husband does love me and he loves me a lot and he isn't perfect because look at how imperfect I am!" Once I realized this and got it into my head I started noticing all of the amazing things he DOES do! He does the dishes every night. He gets up with the kids more often during the night than I do. He gives me a break from the kids whenever I ask for it and he often encourages this. He DOES throw his clothes down the laundry shoot and only occassionally forgets a sock or two. He does try to bring home suprises to show his love for me. The list goes on and on.

I can't tell you how big of a difference this has made in our marriage and for me personally! Rarely does he do anything now that truly bothers me and if it does, I tell him and he usually tries to change immediately. OK, so maybe I have an amazing husband but I think most spouses would try harder and do better if we got off their case and let them be human. Accept your spouse for who they are. Love them despite their faults--you have plenty of them too! :) Forget about the little things that bother you. It may take time. Catch yourself the next time something bothers you and tell yourself to get over it. Once you've gotten over one issue, move on to the next. Make an effort to notice the good things they DO do and praise them for it. A LOT!

I hope these ideas help someone!