Sunday, September 18, 2011
I'm no expert but I love sharing ideas that work for me in case it might benefit others. Here are a few things you can do to help enhance your marriage.
SUPER EASY IDEA #1:
Go grab a piece of paper and a pencil. Don't wait. Do it RIGHT NOW. Now write something that your spouse does that you love--could be something simple like: "I love your smile." or "I love it when you do the dishes for me." or it could be something romantic. Now go hide it somewhere only your spouse will find it. (I put notes in my husbands pant pockets before he wears them). Get in the habit of doing this once a week for a nice little treat for your spouse to know you care!
COMBINED EFFORT IDEA:
This is best if you get your spouse in on the activity. You'll be making a list. Title it something like this: "A guide to loving _____ (your name here)" or "The Things ______(your name here) Loves" or "I feel loved when:"
Then list everything you can think of that your spouse currently does and especially what you wish they would do. If you've never done this before, chances are your spouse will have no clue about some of the things on your list and you'll probably be shocked about their list. Be specific.
When I did this, I included a list of treats that would brighten my day (like hard Runts and Ben and Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie Ice Cream- YUM!) and also things that I consider Romantic. I was shocked my husband really wanted me to serenade him. I never knew!
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET IDEA:
So for most of our marriage, I had it in my head that whenever my husband did something I didn't like--i.e. leaving his socks on the floor, that it was personal. It was as if his leaving his socks on the floor was an expression of "I don't care about you enough to pick these up." I would get irritated over all the little things. Somewhere along the way, I decided to change my attitude. I somehow got through all the nasty little lies in my head and told myself the truth: "My husband does love me and he loves me a lot and he isn't perfect because look at how imperfect I am!" Once I realized this and got it into my head I started noticing all of the amazing things he DOES do! He does the dishes every night. He gets up with the kids more often during the night than I do. He gives me a break from the kids whenever I ask for it and he often encourages this. He DOES throw his clothes down the laundry shoot and only occassionally forgets a sock or two. He does try to bring home suprises to show his love for me. The list goes on and on.
I can't tell you how big of a difference this has made in our marriage and for me personally! Rarely does he do anything now that truly bothers me and if it does, I tell him and he usually tries to change immediately. OK, so maybe I have an amazing husband but I think most spouses would try harder and do better if we got off their case and let them be human. Accept your spouse for who they are. Love them despite their faults--you have plenty of them too! :) Forget about the little things that bother you. It may take time. Catch yourself the next time something bothers you and tell yourself to get over it. Once you've gotten over one issue, move on to the next. Make an effort to notice the good things they DO do and praise them for it. A LOT!
I hope these ideas help someone!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
We can never finish a cake. There are 4 of us but the kids just can't eat very much. I made this cake on Sunday and over the next few days we ate all but 1 piece--which would have gotten eaten by my hubby but I was tired of it sitting on top of my microwave! Crazy that a cake without chocolate could be this good. My Mother-In-Law makes it better but for my first try, it was amazingly delicious!
Lazy Daisy Cake
From the kitchen of Marilyn Allen
2 cups sugar
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
Heat until almost boiling:
1 cup milk
1 TB butter or margarine
Mix and bake in 9x13 pan at 350 for 30 minutes (mine took about 45 minutes to be done in the center).
6 TB butter
4 TB cream
1 cup brown sugar
coconut and optional nuts
Brown carefully under broiler. You may need to turn it around as it broils. (This only took about 2 minutes in my oven).