I won't do that!

The more I get to know people, the more I realize that we all have bad things happen to us--often by the people we care most about. It is REALLY hard to move past. I've tried to let things go, I've tried to change, and I've even confronted at times but it is really hard when people don't change and continue to rub you wrong or treat you unfairly. Is any of this sounding familiar?

I visit teach someone who said something awesome to me once (well, ok I think pretty much everything she says is awesome). She said something along the lines of "I can't change them so I'm going to change how I will act when I'm in the position they are in so the people I'm dealing with don't have to feel the way I do." There was a lot of paraphrasing in there but that is the gist of it. She said she wrote a letter to herself, (lest she forgets) about what she will and won't do when she is a grandmother some day and she said it really helped her deal with some issues.  

In thinking about my big motivational article I'd write this week about improving family relations this kept coming to mind so I'm hoping this is meant for someone. Here is my advice and the steps to take to help you move past:

1. Think about but DO NOT dwell on some grievances that are really irking you. (This is the easiest step--it gets harder but will be worth it!)

2. Think about what the other person could have done to eliminate the problem, never start the problem, fix the problem, etc.

3. Decide right now what you will do if you find yourself in those persons shoes. How are you going to make  the person in your current shoes feel loved, appreciated, cared for instead of hurt, humiliated, etc. 

4. Write down (it really is therapeutic) how you are going to react in situations and the things that are really important for you to do to others and then don't forget it! 

What this will do for you:

If done correctly this activity can help you release some of your burdens, taking your focus from blaming others to what you can do to be better to anyone who may be in your situation. Maybe God has allowed us to have these difficulties because we are strong enough to learn and not repeat them. Maybe we are allowed to have people in our lives that hurt us because we are strong enough to not repeat the wrongs done to us--that we can be the ones to break the bad habits and help others to excel. 

I hope this helps and as always I'd love feedback--especially if this helps!!!