Treatment Milestones

Wow! This week has been a whirlwind. We finally closed on a house!!! No, it wasn't the one we waited for for 2 years and no it isn't bigger (ok, a few square feet) but it IS better and the neighborhood seems perfect for our young family. We are renting to the previous owners for a few days while they wait for their new house to open up and then we are going to paint and carpet and maybe some wood floors! And then we can FINALLY move on. Can't wait. I'm still not processing it all. It is exciting and luckily I'm not thinking how sad it is to leave all our friends and neighbors here. We really have had it good and it is really hard to imagine Emily won't be across the street and Lani isn't down the street and Stephanie isn't next door, etc. etc.

As far as treatment, this week has been awesome. Day 13 came around and I reached a total breakthrough. I woke up in hardly any pain and my mind was so clear. All the days following have been the same. It is such an amazing difference! I don't think I have ever been this happy and I really didn't realize how bad my pain has gotten. I now feel closer to my age--not 75 years old! By the end of most days I was hunched over like my grandmother always was. Not good! Depression can cause chronic pain and chronic pain can cause depression--what a vicious cycle!

Today is day 17. Things are still going great and I am excited to see what these last few treatments do. I'm excited to be done--not that treatments have been bad at all but because it would be nice to have those 2 hours back to my day. I have never been away this much from my kids since they were born and it would be  nice to be back. Plus with trying to juggle packing and junk I am feeling pretty darn behind.

But it is all good!!! The Lord is delivering us!

50% OFF SALE ends TOMORROW

We wanted to thank everyone that has helped us celebrate our 10,000 sale!  It has been a great month.

For anyone who hasn't taken advantage of the 50% off sale, you have through the end of the day tomorrow to order. www.prettifuldesigns.etsy.com. Hope you stop on by!

Here's the newest addition to the shop!

50% off Sale, Only 6 Days Left!

We're approaching the end of June, which means our month long 50% OFF SALE is almost over as well!
All month long we've been celebrating our 10,000th sale, and we just want to make sure you get to celebrate with us.

Remember EVERYTHING in the shop http://www.prettifuldesigns.etsy.com is 50% OFF through June 30th!  You can also combine it with the other special which is:

Buy 3 Get 1 additional item FREE
Buy 4 Get 2 additional items FREE
Buy 5 Get 3 additional items FREE
Buy 10 Get 10 additional items FREE
Buy 20 Get 21 additional items FREE
FREE items must be of equal or lesser value to the lowest priced item purchased. To get your free items, Copy and Paste ENTIRE TITLE of free product(s) (not link) in notes to seller to get your free item(s).

Here are some of the most recent additions to the shop:

Boy Clipart

Nothing Says summer more than water and murmaids!

What's your weather like?

Here is to nights out under the stars.

Hot Pink and Lime Green Sleepless Papers

Day 10 of Treatment

Today was day 10. The last few days have been a little disheartening. I think we pinpointed which neurotransmitter is off and they suggested a new diet to help--a diet that is leaving me feeling weak and sick. My physical pain the last few days has been through the roof. Playing around with my brain chemistry has maybe messed up my brains abilities to release endorphins and it is a struggle doing anything because the pain is so intense. I was talking to someone last night and I couldn't even come up with anything else to say because the pain was getting so bad...that is huge for me if you all know how much I talk.
I think I have always had excessive pain. I remember having back pain ALL my life--even when I was really little like 3-5 years old. I've just put up with it forever thinking that is how it is for everyone but as I've talked to  people I've realized that there are some people who rarely feel pain. What would that be like? I'm not even 30 yet and I am in so much pain!
I had to do another colon cleanse/detox yesterday and this morning was awful.
2 nights ago my depression hit and it was vicious. It had all been going so good. Its doing better again but relapses like that scare me.
Here is hoping we get everything balanced out soon. Here's to the next 11 days of treatment.

Leading up to Treatment

I recently started an intensive treatment program for my depression. I guess I've always had some sort of depression throughout my life. I didn't really notice it then--I just didn't understand how other people could be so happy. I just never got it. The day we brought our first baby home though I was hit with a level of depression that I had never experienced before. The thoughts that my baby and husband would be better off without me were so strong and believable. I asked people for help in taking care of my baby. I was in a really low place but everyone I asked told me "no." What the? I didn't know I had to say I was suicidal to get help?!?!?!

I did everything I could to work on the depression myself. I learned some things that really helped me to be happy as well as coping mechanisms....for a while.

My depression would come and go in its severity. My whole pregnancy with my 3rd child was pretty awful. I started becoming open about my depression about a year after I had my third. As soon as I did people started coming out of the woodwork telling me I needed to take meds. I felt like some have practically tried forcing it down my throat. Then there have been others that have no idea about depression that have told me I just need to pray more or be more righteous or choose to be happy. Everyone who has had clinical depression know those answers are a bunch of crock. I AM choosing to be happy. I do pray - A LOT. I keep trying to improve my righteousness but my brain is broken and it won't allow me to be happy.

Recently I found that no matter what I did to try and help  my depression nothing was helping at all anymore. We knew I needed help but we have constantly felt that medicine was not the right choice for me. We looked into electroshock therapy and I started acupuncture...but then I nose dived again and I started to look for a rehab facility.

This place called Theta Wellness popped up while looking for a rehab facility. I went in the next day and they started me immediately. They put you through a few processes that help restore neurotransmitters to their correct functioning without the use of meds. They use technology derived from Nasa, a transcranial magnetic therapy device, and an infrared bed. The program lasts 21 days and takes about 2 hours a day. It is a huge commitment but we were out of options. During my first treatment my cloud started to lift and I am now on day 7 and it hasn't returned. There has been no pain involved, no memory loss. The only bad part was a protein shake they make you drink each day but now they don't bother me at all.

We are hoping for some permanent improvement. Time will tell how well it works in the long run. At least now I can think clearly, thoughts of ending my life have ceased and I have much more energy.

For those struggling with depression, know that its not your fault. You're not a bad person because you have depression--even though the world seems to insinuate this. Depression can strike the strongest, most intelligent minds.If you have a broken leg you get it fixed. You're not a bad person if your bone gets broken. If your brain gets broken, you get it fixed--you're not a bad person!

Join me in my fight to stop the social stigma.

~xo,
Dedra

my ongoing personal saga

where to begin? where to end? our story took us near the freeway today in only one town where we could afford a decent home to raise our kids. 1400 sq feet less than we were expecting. the list in my head of all the things i will have to sell/get rid of is making me nauseous--well, I've been nauseous over this all for so long. so many ideas/dreams/plans just keep getting shattered. the idea of being stuck where we didn't want to be forever because I can't go through this again is filling me with some looming thoughts. and to think maybe there are weeks and months ahead to start the loan process all over again. 3 bedrooms and no room to grow doesn't sound enticing to have more kids--i did want more. after all that we've endured there still are no apparent blessings---even though somehow this probably is a blessing. I'm just ready for some not in disguise.
xo,
dedra

10,000th sale SALE

This last month I reached my 10,000th sale, so we're going to be celebrating all month long with 50% OFF EVERYTHING in the shop http://www.prettifuldesigns.etsy.com.  This is a great time to stock up!  

AND you can use it with my specials:  

Buy 3 Get 1 additional item FREE
Buy 4 Get 2 additional items FREE
Buy 5 Get 3 additional items FREE
Buy 10 Get 10 additional items FREE
Buy 20 Get 21 additional items FREE
FREE items must be of equal or lesser value to the lowest priced item purchased. To get your free items, Copy and Paste ENTIRE TITLE of free product(s) (not link) in notes to seller to get your free item(s).


Here are some of the items in the shop:

Come celebrate with me!

NOT

After 64 days of processing Wells Fargo couldn't close our loan so the house is back on the market. Great deal for someone with a vision....

Closing Day... maybe not

Today is supposed to be our closing day. We started looking for a house 3 years ago when I felt an impression that it was time to move. We found the area we wanted to live and a few months later put our house on the market. It took almost a whole year to sell our house. As soon as we did we put an offer in on a house we had found in June of 2011. As soon as we sold our house we put in an offer on the new one. The bank accepted our offer in Jan or Feb of 2012 but they didn't allow us to move forward until March of 2013.
The only bank we could find to loan on the property has taken like 65 days and has requested 3 extensions. Today is the last extension. We give documents within 30 minutes of being asked and yet they still can't get it done. Yesterday we thought we had everything turned in and ready to go and then this morning they say they won't accept half our documents and our income and they want a million more things. I ran around to get everything and we're turning more stuff in but who knows. How can people sit on documents for 2 months and then at the very last second say they won't work? Do they not look at them at all?
Anyway, we could use thoughts and prayers today. We've been in limbo so many years. It has been pretty difficult--especially with my depression

Lyrics

Several people have asked me to post lyrics for the song in the last post.
Here they are:

How long is enough?
The wait seems too long.
I can't seem to swim.
I'm sinking too much

Then a hand reaches out and pulls me up
I didn't see before, He was there all along

Looking back
I can't believe
How far I've come.
It's all from Him.

He was always there I had to look up.
He never let me down, He was there all along.

The wait that seemed so long has been swallowed up.
The fire is now put out and now I shine, I shine forth.

The hand that reaches out for me
Is reaching out for you...

Text and lyrics Copyright Dedra Tregaskis 2013.
No reproduction without written consent allowed.

A song, new products and 30% off paper sale!

So, I haven't blogged much lately. I um... am having difficulty with some things but I've been getting back into music lately and the last few weeks I've written 4 songs. I'm sharing the song I wrote & recorded today: 

Music and lyrics Copyright Dedra Tregaskis 2013

New froggy clip art!

 Love, love love hippos:

And because there can never be enough rainbow-esque variations:

And...paper packs are all 30% off now through the 31st of May at http://www.prettifuldesigns.etsy.com

Only 2 days left of the 50% Off Sale

Sale ends this Wednesday! It has been stellar! Come check it out: Prettiful Designs

500 Items = HUGE 50% Off SALE

The 500th item arrived in my shop today and to celebrate I'm offering a 50% off sale. It is valid with my other offers so this is really the time to stock up. 

New Prints, Papers, & Clip Art

I've been super busy designing lately. My custom orders are still like a month and a half out. That's a good thing right? I even threw in some of the items I want for myself onto my list. :) The prints at the bottom are some I designed for my own house--its just hard which ones to pick. :)

xo,
Dedra

Chore Badges

I'm adding these to my shops tomorrow. My girls have been anxiously waiting for me to get them done because they want to earn their "Chore Badges"