I won't do that!

The more I get to know people, the more I realize that we all have bad things happen to us--often by the people we care most about. It is REALLY hard to move past. I've tried to let things go, I've tried to change, and I've even confronted at times but it is really hard when people don't change and continue to rub you wrong or treat you unfairly. Is any of this sounding familiar?

I visit teach someone who said something awesome to me once (well, ok I think pretty much everything she says is awesome). She said something along the lines of "I can't change them so I'm going to change how I will act when I'm in the position they are in so the people I'm dealing with don't have to feel the way I do." There was a lot of paraphrasing in there but that is the gist of it. She said she wrote a letter to herself, (lest she forgets) about what she will and won't do when she is a grandmother some day and she said it really helped her deal with some issues.  

In thinking about my big motivational article I'd write this week about improving family relations this kept coming to mind so I'm hoping this is meant for someone. Here is my advice and the steps to take to help you move past:

1. Think about but DO NOT dwell on some grievances that are really irking you. (This is the easiest step--it gets harder but will be worth it!)

2. Think about what the other person could have done to eliminate the problem, never start the problem, fix the problem, etc.

3. Decide right now what you will do if you find yourself in those persons shoes. How are you going to make  the person in your current shoes feel loved, appreciated, cared for instead of hurt, humiliated, etc. 

4. Write down (it really is therapeutic) how you are going to react in situations and the things that are really important for you to do to others and then don't forget it! 

What this will do for you:

If done correctly this activity can help you release some of your burdens, taking your focus from blaming others to what you can do to be better to anyone who may be in your situation. Maybe God has allowed us to have these difficulties because we are strong enough to learn and not repeat them. Maybe we are allowed to have people in our lives that hurt us because we are strong enough to not repeat the wrongs done to us--that we can be the ones to break the bad habits and help others to excel. 

I hope this helps and as always I'd love feedback--especially if this helps!!!

 

EASY Tip to Improve Relationships With Your Kid(s) TODAY!

Don't you wish you had a hug like that right now?

I wish I remembered to do this easy tip every day. Maybe it wouldn't be as special if it were a habit. I'm not sure BUT I do know that this tip in practice has immediate, awesome effects. Are you READY for my super top secret tip???

***Hug your kid(s) as often as possible today.***Grab them when they walk by, stalk them from behind, cuddle up on the couch while you watch his/her favorite show--make it excessive. If you have teenagers excessive may be one side hug with loads of protestations, but chances are they will secretly love your increased attention!

You may want to add a little note every week or so to your calendar to remember to do this on a regular basis. I hope to hear lots of success stories!


Kidless? Use this on your spouse--I dare you!

Look at this sweet Daddy hug.

Now go and get your hug on! :)

Interesting tidbits I learned today

I love learning things to help me to improve my marriage and be a better mom. Today I learned  a few tips I thought I'd share:

1. Write down your last disagreement with your spouse (what and when) and have your spouse do the same. Share your answer with your spouse. You may be suprised your spouse doesn't have the same answer. Discuss how you resolved the conflict. Hopefully this excercise will get you to both open up and communicate more about your differences and preferences. Disagreeing is a natural and can be a healthy part of marriage. You just have to learn to disagree in a fair manner--yeah...I'm still working on this. :)
2. REWIND. When something frustrating happens (especially with your kids) and you say or do something you regret, get into the habit of saying "rewind" or something like it and pause, back up and rephrase or redo what you had previously done in a positive way. An apology would also be a great insert here.
3. The Entitled Generation: Help cure feelings of entitlement with your kids by making them learn to work hard. No, you won't be a mean parent. They may act like you are but you will be doing them a huge favor! Starting in the home with small, simple tasks that a child can accomplish will provide a child with a positive self-image, determination, self-reliance and countless other essential qualities. I had a roommate in college who honestly didn't know how to boil water. Bits and pieces of our food kept dissappearing. After weeks of feeling very hungry did we finally figure out it was her and what her problem was. Her mother had wanted to shield her from all hardships while growing up and did everything for her. Boy did she have a steep learning curve. If you truly want to do something good for your child, help them learn to share responsibility in the home according to their capabilities. Let them learn to serve you. How can you love someone you have never served???